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The Act of Leaving


Many times when leaving BCC, former members find themselves in a difficult, awkward, or even hostile spot with current members. Where once there was free-flowing conversation and comfort, now there may be conflict and resentment. 

There are many dynamics to relationships with those still in the church. The most complicated revolves around family. Most who leave do so between the ages of 16-19, so they usually still live with their parents and depend on them for food, transportation, and monetary funds. 

This stipulation alone causes many late teens to remain 'in the church' just for the sake of avoiding conflict with those they love and depend on. At that age, being physically in the church, but absent from all its dogma creates a harsh caged-in effect on the mind. You aspire to leave, but it just makes sense to stay. 

You go to the gatherings but know you don't believe any of it. Having to lie to those around you; almost feels like a double life. The feeling that there's no other option may eat away at you, as it did me. The most important thing to know when in this situation is: These feelings won't last forever. 

Leaving any life-engulfing organization is a complex, yet a delicate thing. Very few can completely drop off the church's radar and continue with life just as easily as before! Thinking ahead is crucial. Start critically thinking about what you want from life. Where do you want to be in 50 years? How do you want to spend your 20s? Do you really believe in everything the church preaches?


If you genuinely believe the church will maximize your happiness, then stay! Some people are better off in BCC, others are not. Before leaving, it is paramount that you've made up your mind with all diligence.

It's time to think ahead. 

There can be lots of anger built up towards the church by the time you decide to leave. Although it may be founded, the time to express it is not present. Go about leaving subtly and intelligently. If anyone tries to stop you then you must insist on your life choice. No one can force you to attend anything at the church, or make you feel guilty for being absent.

In my personal experience, a common approach BCC leaders will take is to guilt-trip you using your younger siblings or friends. Their goal is to make you feel like the bad person in the situation; it's projection at its finest. Understand that this isn't true, you'll still be a great sibling or friend.

No one has the right to take away your decision on what religion to follow. Happiness is paramount.

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